Thursday, December 10, 2015

Musings Of A Single Lady

I've been single so long I'm looking forward to Sheldon and Amy getting laid in the Big Bang Theory. Sad. For me, not them. They've earned it.

Not that there aren't opportunities. New York isn't exactly a chaste and modest city. But as someone who is half convinced everyone is a serial killer with AIDS until they can prove otherwise, I'm not particularly good at one night stands. Plus, super awkward aftermath even in the best of non-serial killer scenarios.  I'm thinking the only way I manage to calm my own distrust of humanity enough to fall into a relationship again is some kind of airplane crash/survival hike scenario where it's me and some (hopefully non-serial killer) man battling nature for our lives. And maybe, MAYBE, if the guy is able to bring me enough berries and nuts and stuff, we can go steady.

Also, I'd really like it if he were tall. Not to be picky. But I'm short and I think the same way men apparently subconsciously go for certain hip-to-waist ratios, I go for certain heights in order to improve my own gene pool. 

In other news, here are my cats. They are adorable. They will be the ones that eat me after I die.

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