Friday, February 5, 2016

Ranking Accents

I can be shallow.  I like a guy with brains, kindness, a sense of humor...and who is tall, handsome, and has a nice voice and accent.  And while I like a lot of different accents, there are definitely some that can make me cringe, too.  There are some accents I love and some that instantly take a guy from a 7 to a 4.  I'm sure not everyone will agree with me - like everything else related to hotness, it's all pretty subjective - but here is my personal list, ranked best to no thanks.

Scottish - I am sure this is because I just visited Scotland, but Scottish accents are super hot. Think Gerard Butler in 'P.S. I Love You' or Ewan McGregor in 'A Life Less Ordinary.' If they were only 10 years younger or I was only 10 years older and a model...

Ewan McGregor, basically the prototype hot Scottish guy.

Middle Class British - Ok, I know there's a bunch of different "English" accents but I can't really distinguish them particularly well. But the standard British that a bunch of actors have is very nice. Very, very nice. I'm assuming it's middle class-ish since it's not quite as posh as how Prince William and co speak.

Australian - My first exposure to Australian accents was as a young, impressionable exchange student (in Europe, not Australia), and I briefly dated an Australian boy while I was there. Since then I have loved the accent. I think this may be because of how absolutely fun and energetic most Australian guys seem to be.
I mean...
Another guy who just elevated his accent.
Southern United States - I do love a nice southern accent. Not a hillbilly accent, because I also love proper grammar and people who say 'ain't' irritate me no matter where they're from, but a nice polite southern drawl. THIS particular accent may have originally endeared itself to me after watching Brad Renfro in 'The Client' approximately a hundred times. May he rest in peace.
My childhood crush.
Not his real accent, but he sells it on Hart of Dixie.
Basic American - a nice, clean standard American accent I think is very nice. I have been informed by an Australian/British friend that people over the pond don't actually much like American accents, but I do, so there.  Though it does break my heart a little that British guys don't appreciate my accent as much as I appreciate theirs.

Upper class British - I'm thinking a Prince William-ish accent, which I assume is as upper class as it gets. It's just a little more proper and formal than the middle class one, which knocks it down a few spots, but it's still very nice to listen to.

Irish - This one was hard to place, since the voice is particularly important. I've heard some Irish accents that were musical and sexy, and others that somehow just weren't.  Still, I'm going to give the country the benefit of the doubt and drop them right in the middle of my accent list. The nice ones definitely jump up above the basic American.
An example of a fine Irish accent.
Miami - Ok, this is not an accent that is objectively hot. I don't even necessarily find it hot. But I'm from there and it sounds like home, and so I have a soft spot in my heart for it nonetheless. Basically, everyone sounds slightly Latin and slightly Valley Girl all at once, whether or not they speak Spanish.

Midwestern - I had an internal debate whether to bump this below the lower class British accent, but I decided to be patriotic and put it right above.  I'm not talking a straight up Fargo accent, but a much softer version that kind of veers towards the Canadian. We are definitely getting lower on the hotness scale at this point though.
Why yes, I associate Midwestern with the Packers.
Lower Class British - I guess that would be a Cockney accent. It is still nice, though again much like Irish it varies greatly. I've heard some that are very pleasant, like Michael Caine for example, but some are hillbilly-equivelant. 

Canadian - Midwestern sounding but without the appeal of actually being American (sorry). Though I have met many Canadians I like, I just am not into their accent.

Trinidad and Tobago- A very good friend is from here, which bumps the accent up since her family is basically my second family. On a guy though it doesn't really help his hotness though. It might not lower it, but at best it's hotness-neutral.

New York - I live here now and should therefore like the accent, but I don't. I just really don't. Despite that, I'm a little sad it's on its way out.

South African - This is vaguely British sounding, but less appealing. Also, since I hear it pretty rarely it usually just confuses me, and I end up trying to figure out if the speaker is a foreigner who learned British English or if they're a native speaker with a weird accent. Obviously it's the second of the two, but I just don't like it.
Cute guy. Meh accent.
Indian - Despite a very fun visit to India a few years ago, the accent really isn't my cup of tea. It may be too many years of call centers warping my perception, which is unfair, but it's an accent that does absolutely nothing for me and probably lowers a guy's attractiveness for me.  Strangely, I think women wear this accent better than men. On a guy it's just kind of blah.

Boston - This is not all that different from New York to me, but even worse.  It's just...I don't know. It sounds strident and kind of belligerently ignorant. Which people from Boston are not. I'm sure many of them are lovely, even the Patriots fans. They can't help where they're born. But this is not an accent that will ever have me ripping my clothes off.
Two famous Bostonians. Cute guys made less hot by their accents.

So? What do you all think? What accents do it for you? And, British guys, WHHHHYYYY don't you like American accents???

1 comment:

  1. Interesting. I never thought about this much, but accents do affect how others view us.