Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Healing A Broken Heart

Edited, because it's too TMI.

It's such a cliche, but it's true. I've been broken up for almost three months now and rather than getting easier it seems to get harder every day. Half our friends think we'll get back together, adding to the pressure. But I am at the end of my rope.

I never wanted a relationship filled with angst. I don't want tear-filled breakups followed by reunion after reunion. I don't want to cry on friend's shoulders just to show up a month later at their party hand in hand with the cause of those tears. We had become "that" couple, the one who was always just about to break up or just about to get back together. I can't blame people for doubting me this time.

But I just can't anymore. So somehow I need to find a way.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Omaha World Series Underdogs

I first wrote this article a few days ago for a website I publish on occasionally. They weren't able to publish it quickly enough for it to be relevant, but I decided to publish it here instead so that the time I spent writing it isn't wasted. 

With the eight teams that are heading to Omaha now finalized and the College World Series underway, it's time to take a look at this year's crop of Championship hopefuls. Every team has its share of fans, but there are clear favorites to win. It's not over until the fat lady sings though, and the College World Series winner may not be who most are expecting. Below are three underdog teams that could come from behind for a win. 

Stony Brook Seawolves** - Though they lost their first game of the College World Series against UCLA, they'll get a second chance June 17th against the Seminoles. If they lose again the Seawolves will be leaving their first CWS without a trophy. There are plenty of fans rooting for them however, as the Seawolves are a true underdog with a made for TV story. 

For them it's a tale of many firsts. Not only is it the Stony Brook team's first trip to the CWS, but they are the first New York team since 1980 and the first North East team since 1986 to reach the College World Series. In fact, they are even the first CWS participant from the American East Conference. A Seawolves win would make not only their school, but their whole region very happy. 

Strong Seawolves players include center fielder Travis Jankowski, a junior and the first Stoney Brooke first round MLB pick for the San Diego Padres, and America East pitcher of the year Tyler Johnson, a senior, who's 2012 ERA is 1.78. 

Kent State Golden Flashes - Another regional sweetheart, the Kent State Golden Flashes are the first qualifier from Mid-American conference since 1976. It is also the team's first appearance ever at the CWS, giving them something in common with the Seawolves. After a narrow 3-2 win over Oregon on June 11th, the Flashes solidified their spot and are ready to represent their conference and their school. Their first game is on Saturday, June 16 against Arkansas. 

The journey to the CWS included a 21 inning game against Kentucky, the second longest game in the NCAA regional tournament, proving that Kent State players have the endurance to go all the way. 6'3 pitcher and team co-captain David Starn is one of the Golden Flashes' secret weapons and will be pitching during their first CWS game. He was named Mid-American Conference pitcher of the year in 2012. 

Florida State Seminoles - The Seminoles are not a typical underdog. They are part of a group of powerhouse Florida teams that include the Miami Hurricanes and the Florida Gators, who are also attending the CWS this year. Including this year, they've made it as far as the College World Series an astounding 21 times but they've never managed to pull off a win. After losing their first 2012 CWS game on Friday night, they've got one more chance in their game on Sunday against Stoney Brooke. One of our two underdogs will be eliminated at the end of that game. 

No other team has qualified as many times without winning, though they've had the bittersweet honor of being runner up 3 times. FSU can't be happy about being the Susan Lucci of college baseball, though she did eventually win her Emmy. Might this finally be the year that the Seminoles win the College World Series? Fans can only hope. 

Team captain James Ramsey, a senior, will be leading the team to Omaha. He was named 2012 Atlantic Coast Conference Player of the Year as well as being a two time Capital One Academic All-America of the Year winner. 

Only one team will emerge victorious. By Sunday at least one of the underdog teams will have been eliminated. Though it may not look likely that any of the three teams will walk away with the trophy, everything is possible. Remember, everyone loves an underdog. 

**Eliminated since I first wrote this article

Friday, June 15, 2012

View From A Picnic

This is why I love summer. 

Stoner Cat

 My cats are adorable, but sometimes I feel like maybe they're not...how do I say this nicely...the sharpest knives in the drawer. They're like slightly chubby sorority girls. Or the really useless girlfriends of some older sugar daddy. Case in point the photo below: my cat will completely zone out sometimes for the longest time. Like, the lights are one but no one is home.

She often looks spaced out like this. I worry sometimes.


Friday, June 1, 2012

Facebook Status: Single

I'm going through a breakup for the millionth time. Mind, it's for the millionth time with the same guy which means I'm being very quiet about it in my real life since at a certain point I feel like you lose the right to whine.  Since I'm sick of spinning in circles I've resolved that this time it will stick, but I'm going to keep that mainly to myself until I have more time as a single under my belt. No need to cry wolf again.

Nonetheless, it's been a few weeks and overall we're both being kind and considerate and have resolved to remain friends and business partners and blablabla mature grown up crap. Overall. Today my (nameless) ex and I had a fight. **I've edited out some of the venting about it...

Ugh. I needed to vent and didn't want to drag my friends into what I'm very much trying to make a drama-free breakup. I don't want them to have to pick sides, I don't want to create any negative feelings, and I very much want to come out the other side of this as friends with my ex. But days like today remind me of why we broke up to begin with. Which is maybe why after over three weeks I finally updated my facebook status to single. It's set to private so no one can see it but me, but it feels significant nonetheless.

In other news, my cats are being very supportive. In what was clearly a thoughtful if misguided attempt to distract me, one of them threw up on my shoes yesterday. When that didn't work she course corrected and is now sitting at my feet being cute. Good job.

**Edited to remove venting, since the whole goal is to not piss each other off.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Me Against The World

So I have this image of what 28 year old women should look/act like and I often do not fit into that mold. I wonder if there's something wrong with me or whether I'm just holding others up to an unrealistic ideal. Probably both. For example:

Imaginary normal woman: Blow dries hair, wears makeup, makes attempt at fashionable work/play outfits.
Me: I usually but not always brush my hair in the morning. Makeup is strictly a special event occurrence, and consists of some eye and lip stuff. I do not own a blow dryer and my outfits are often whatever I can pull out of my (clean, unfolded) laundry basket.

Imaginary normal woman: Eats healthy and works out a few days a week. Since this is New York, the workout probably involves yoga or pilates and some element of spirituality is involved.
Me: I sometimes try half heartedly to touch my toes while I watch TV. Every now and then I'll take the stairs at work if I'm feeling particularly blimp like.

Imaginary normal woman: House is kept relatively clean and tidy, and there are often fresh flowers somewhere. The walls are covered in tasteful art/pictures of loved ones.
Me: I've got some paintings and pictures up, but there are walls left untouched. Let's say I'm halfway to normal in this respect.  I do try to keep up with the cleaning; I'm actually doing better on that.

And it goes on. So are others actually closer to my level of not-accepting-adulthood than I think, or am I really in need of a kick in the ass to get my shit together?

At least I'm responsible about my budget. That's something, right?

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Right now I feel like I say too much and too little at once. The things that eat at me aren't my things to talk about or share, but they hurt anyway. And when something slips out I immediately feel like I've said too much. Like saying anything is a betrayal.

This isn't even about one thing. This is about when I talk about any of the things in my life that involve other people. Everything. What else is life? And yet I'm not a naturally private person I don't think. When I'm upset, or thinking, or processing I like to talk it out with friends. And yet often by talking I say too much about things that are not mine to tell. And even when I manage to hold back I feel guilty about wanting to talk. And when I talk around a subject or take a stand without being able to explain why I feel like I'm just being an argumentative bitch for no reason.

Anyway. None of this makes sense. I'm not really saying anything clearly. But as soon as I post it I'll feel like I've said too much. As usual, again.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Home Design

I'm not Martha Stewart. I know that may be confusing for most people, but despite the similarities (female? That's kind of it.) I am not her. And therefore I do not have her talent for all the various types of home making that exist.

In other words, I need help.  At the risk of outing myself and ruining my half-assed attempt at anonymity, below are a couple room designs. If anyone feels so inclined, I'd love an opinion. I'm trying to re-organize my brand new (1 bedroom! Spacious!) apartment after having been crammed into a studio for years, and I've come to realize it is not a natural talent of mine.  Here's what my apartment looks like now:

The gray rectangle is the radiator, and therefore not movable. The brown rectangles are half-shelves.
Not exactly a wonder of layout. Especially since the only plug is behind my table (which is hanging off the room b/c in actuality the side folds down. The layout program did not have a half-circle table.).  Therefore there is a whole mess of cords stretching across the doorway from the table to the tv.

This might be more accurate:

Here are a couple ideas I have to improve the situation:

Option 1

Option 2

I've put this up on Facebook for a friend vote (which is why I'm a little worried about blowing my cover) but I wanted to see if any budding design stars out there had any ideas or opinions as well.  So. What do you think?