Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Right now I feel like I say too much and too little at once. The things that eat at me aren't my things to talk about or share, but they hurt anyway. And when something slips out I immediately feel like I've said too much. Like saying anything is a betrayal.

This isn't even about one thing. This is about when I talk about any of the things in my life that involve other people. Everything. What else is life? And yet I'm not a naturally private person I don't think. When I'm upset, or thinking, or processing I like to talk it out with friends. And yet often by talking I say too much about things that are not mine to tell. And even when I manage to hold back I feel guilty about wanting to talk. And when I talk around a subject or take a stand without being able to explain why I feel like I'm just being an argumentative bitch for no reason.

Anyway. None of this makes sense. I'm not really saying anything clearly. But as soon as I post it I'll feel like I've said too much. As usual, again.

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