Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Skydiving Slowly Into Homeownership

I have been looking at houses in Florida for a year and a half. At first I was super optimistic and thought I could get a steal if I did enough research.  Five offers later, I've raised my budget and lowered my standards.  Not that they were so crazy high to begin with - I made my first offer after the first weekend of looking. But I digress.

I found a house I am strongly considering bidding on. It's small. Much smaller than I originally thought I'd buy, since this is an investment property I want to rent out. And it's a good 20k above my original budget. But the current owners are in the process of fully renovating it, so everything is new. New floors, new kitchen, new bathroom. New windows even. So if I rent it to somebody, I probably won't have to worry about a bunch of repairs right away. It will be ready to go.

So I think I'll probably make an offer. Which, even though it would be my 6th (I think? 5th?) is still scary. It's scary every time. Because I'm putting my entire life savings into an investment, hoping the market will continue to grow, hoping I can get renters, hoping they will be willing to pay what I need to make, hoping they won't trash the place or refuse to pay their rent, hoping, hoping, hoping. I think it's a pretty good area right now to buy in, or I wouldn't be doing this, but .... scary.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Green Bay Baller

My family doesn't understand me, clearly. My sister received a Packers jersey for Christmas while I got regular clothing and makeup. Which may be one in a continuing series of hints to up my game (my own grandmother said I dressed dowdy). However, I will continue to ignore those hints and watch today's game in pjs as the good lord intended.  I've avoided being stylish for the first 32 years of my life, might as well continue the trend.

Luckily for everyone, we've clinched our playoff spot this year. This is a relief because we went from dominating at the beginning of the season to crawling towards the finish. Rodger's crazy Hail Mary pass notwithstanding.  We robbed ourselves out of a Super Bowl trip last year, with the help of the Seahawks, so I'm really hoping we can get it together this year rather than taking a nap mid game. I mean, the Vikings even won against us this pre-season.  The VIKINGS.

So, I will be enjoying a nice cold Packers beer while watching the Arizona game.  Where we will kick their ass, secure in the knowledge that it's a bonus win.

Edited to add:

Fuck that. That game was painful. We didn't necessarily NEED to win, but neither did we need to stink the place up. Worst game I've ever seen. I have PTSD from that game.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Blue Cheese Yorkshire Pudding Popups

I was bored yesterday so I made blue cheese Yorkshire pudding. I was going to take a picture for this blog but I ate them all instead.  Hopefully that is enough of an endorsement.  The recipe can be found here

I used butter instead of drippings (if only I had prime rib at my disposal). And I would recommend putting in a little extra salt, since my first batch was a little bland. And also letting them cook fully, as my first batch was also less crispy then they should be because I was hungry and impatient.  But overall, a successfull effort and cheap to make.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Post Exercise Bloat

Why is it whenever I exercise I actually gain a pound or two in the days immediately afterwards? And feel more bloated? After eating my way through Europe in November and knowing that I'm going to be pigging out come Christmas, I would really like to preemptively lose a pound or two. Yeah it's vain. I don't care.

I mean, on the plus side I'm very proud of myself for lurching my way through a 2.7 mile jog. That is quite the accomplishment for someone with a resting heart rate in the 90s. I'm not proud of it, but I've coasted through life on a decent metabolism and so have let myself get totally unfit in any kind of practical way. And then today, after that weekend jog, I walked another 4 miles or so. Again, not so much out of any kind of virtue as that my subway card was empty and I didn't feel like refilling it.

So why is my body punishing me for attempting to make it healthy? Google claims the culprit must be compensatory eating, which certainly makes more sense than my body actively plotting against me, but I really don't think I'm eating more (mainly because I'm too lazy to cook - I already went for a run! Now I have to cook?) so all I can theorize is that my body is shutting down from shock and it's causing me to retain water.

This is just reinforcing my belief that exercise is bad.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Internet Created ADD

I never felt like I had difficulty concentrating when I was younger, but the older I get the more I bounce around from one "task" (is reading a website a task?) to the next every five minutes. I'll have six tabs open and it will take me an hour to write an email because I have to watch that Youtube video or read that one article or write an indignant follow up to that one stupid comment on that one blog or....whatever. Seriously.

Like, I read the Hobbit when I was 8 years old no problem and have basically spent my childhood in unmoving absorption of either a book or a movie, but I can't have a conversation on the telephone without doing five other things at the same time.  Focusing on a book in the subway for an hour is easy-peazy but focusing on sending one goddamn resume out takes multiple cups of coffees and several internet breaks. What gives?  I'm writing this blog post in order to avoid writing another email I'm trying to finish.  Can someone have adult onset ADD? Internet caused ADD? Help!

Musings Of A Single Lady

I've been single so long I'm looking forward to Sheldon and Amy getting laid in the Big Bang Theory. Sad. For me, not them. They've earned it.

Not that there aren't opportunities. New York isn't exactly a chaste and modest city. But as someone who is half convinced everyone is a serial killer with AIDS until they can prove otherwise, I'm not particularly good at one night stands. Plus, super awkward aftermath even in the best of non-serial killer scenarios.  I'm thinking the only way I manage to calm my own distrust of humanity enough to fall into a relationship again is some kind of airplane crash/survival hike scenario where it's me and some (hopefully non-serial killer) man battling nature for our lives. And maybe, MAYBE, if the guy is able to bring me enough berries and nuts and stuff, we can go steady.

Also, I'd really like it if he were tall. Not to be picky. But I'm short and I think the same way men apparently subconsciously go for certain hip-to-waist ratios, I go for certain heights in order to improve my own gene pool. 

In other news, here are my cats. They are adorable. They will be the ones that eat me after I die.