Rite of Passage

There are certain things in this world that we all have to go through as we move from childhood to adulthood. Certain things that almost all adults have to go through, painful as they may be, as we make that transition. No one looks forward to these events, but they are unfortunately inevitable. And one of the scariest, in my opinion, is being drugged up, held down, and having teeth yanked from our head. Barbaric, isn't it? I refer, of course, to wisdom teeth.

For starters, the name is completely deceptive. It makes them sound all desirable. We should call them pain in the ass teeth. Or debt teeth. Or 10lb diet teeth. My friend, brave woman that she is, is getting all of hers removed today and I am going to be quizzing her on the process (you know, once she can talk and stuff). I've already told her she has to lie to me about how bad it is, as I have not yet removed mine and am completely dragging my feet.

Not everyone hates them though. I am not refering to tooth fetishists. I'm refering to even stranger people, dentists. This is one of those expenses that dentists must be absolutely giddy over. I mean, seriously, no matter how great your oral hygiene is you are probably at some point going to have to pay thousands of dollars to have a guy (or woman, let's not be sexist) go into your wonderfully healthy and well cared for mouth and cut and pull several teeth out and then charge you the equivilant of a morgtgage payment for the pleasure.

Also, seriously, what kind of job did evolution do on this? This was the best it could do? I've made my peace with the fact that we eat and breath through the same hole in our face (seriously stupid, no wonder people choke). And the fact that childbirth is hours of torture doesn't seem super efficient either, frankly. Also, spinal cords seem like maybe they were not best designed either, like great, have a pathway exist that regulates ALL our movement and even our breathing and then make it unable to fix itself when injured. Genius.

So maybe wisdom teeth are actually a fairly minor glitch after all. Still, it's pretty dumb. Like, either make our mouths bigger or our teeth smaller. Or we could be like sharks and just replace as needed. Because having a tooth pulled is nooooooo fun. I had a bad one pulled to make room for the presumably healthy wisdom tooth to take its place, and my dentist almost gave up halfway through the process because I was being such an enormous baby about it. And that still leaves three useless wisdom teeth lurking in my mouth just waiting to make trouble. They're probably forming their own little gang in their, charging the good teeth protection money and hanging out on street corners drinking. Plotting to take down the one that turned on them and became useful. Eventually I'll have to step in and evict them but I think for now I'll just look the other way.

Rain, rain, rain

I have hung myself up to dry. I was beginning to feel more like a frog than a person.

Michael Jackson, ugh

I am sooooooo sick of hearing about Michael Jackson. We do not need 500 updates about the current state of his estate EVERY DAY. One story once everything has been decided is plenty, thanks. Same with the doctor they're investigating. A story if there's an arrest, another if there's a conviction. It's not like there's not other things happening in the world. Plus, I need my celebrity gossip and TMZ and Perez Hilton have been way too Jackson heavy lately.

NYC in the Summer

I just read an article on Yahoo News about some great free things to do during the summer in NYC. This is now my second summer here, but last year I was so stressed out by moving and finding that first job, and then working it, that I didn't actually do much in the city. This year I want to take advantage a bit more and the suggestions in the article seem like a really good place to start.

The new High Line park mentioned in the article just sounds so cool and fun and like such a New York version of a park that I can't wait to see it. And the $.50 oysters at South Side Seaport, well, let me put it this way. I've eaten two dozen oysters in a sitting before in about 2 minutes (you think I'm exaggerating?) and only been stopped from eating more from the horrified looks of the rest of my party. Also, I'm not sure if copious oyster eating isnt somehow bad for you, because it's better than candy and anything that good just has to be bad for you. But you better believe I will be there and if you hear that they ran out of oysters? Well, maybe they should have just had more in stock to begin with.

NYC Apartment hunt, continued

I've been diligently combing Craigslist for a few months now trying to find an affordable studio apartment that I can move to in Brooklyn, and this is what I've learned:

-There are a lot of "missionaries" who have "just moved to Africa" and need you to send them a deposit and rent before they can "send you the key." From Africa. They don't need references or credit scores or anything, because they just know that you are the "clean god fearing tenant" they were looking for. Anyone who actually buys this story probably also owns an invisible bridge somewhere.

-My budget resembles that of small town potato farmers new to the big city and is enough to send seasoned New Yorkers into gales of laughter.

-Having cats doesn't help.

-The economy apparently isn't that bad.

Therefore I am still looking. I recently saw a tip on a website that says to walk around the neighborhood you like talking to old men and charming them into revealing top secret cheap apartments to you. I'm a little doubtful about this tactic as my attempts at being effortlessly charming resemble a bull trying to pick out a new china set. Plus, it can be hard to tell apart "helpful elderly gentleman" and "lecherous old sex offender." Still, I'm not ruling it out. Beggers can't be choosers. If anyone has any tips, I'll be happy to hear them. If you are living in another country, however, and want me to send you a wire transfer in exchange for keys, keep it to yourself.

Do you have a problem...

...when a friend you're chatting with, drinking wine on the other side of the country, means you're not actually drinking alone (because only lushes drink alone, lol).

Latest Harry Potter review

Here is the promised review, and it definitely will contain some spoilers, so don't read if you want a totally pure experience.

Overall, I definitely like it. That said, here are my thoughts, free form style. :-)

Hmmm...Harry sure looks broody. And should you just be reading a moving newspaper out in the middle of a restaurant? Is that really smart?

Oh, poor Muggles girl. Don't just leave her hanging!

I want the Weasily house. So cute!

Ginny is pretty, but not...that...pretty...

Now I feel bitchy.

Um, maybe Hermione should just, like, talk to Ron? And why are they being so skeptical about Draco's evilness?

Ouch. Seriously. Poor Harry.

Oooohhhh! Cheater. On the same note, later, why didn't Harry tell Ron it was really all him?

Ron's girlfriend is kind of over the top hilarious.

I like the bonding moments between Harry and Hermione.

The potions teacher really is completely useless, huh? I do wish I could morph into a sofa sometimes though...

Oh, really convenient not to remember how you dumped your girl friend, Ron. And was that really all it took to drive her off? Lots of dating in this movie, not much fighting. Enjoying the teen angst of that, though.

Hmmm. Had Harry forgotten his luck potion before now?

Oh, hi Gollum. Did LOTR forget to copyright you?

Awww.....sad...booo...

THE END

There. Not too spoilery, and it will probably make more sense after the movie is seen. So go see it. You don't want to be the last person on earth who hasn't, right? Anyone whose seen it, I'd love to get your thoughts, so if you want to leave a comment.