Saturday, January 2, 2010

Digging my way out

I'm in a rut. This is largely due to having too much time and not enough money - in short, since I'm freelancing I have large chunks of time when I don't have any work to do, and therefore no money coming in.  Since I don't have money to spend I end up home on the computer all day.  This isn't healthy and it isn't productive.  I job hunt every day, but let's be serious - applying to jobs only takes an hour, max, if that.  After that, the rest of the day just looms up.  I'm sleeping too much, online too much, sitting too much, just generally wasting my life right now.

What I've been saying I'm going to do, and what I need to do, is find myself a night job or some kind of part time job so even when I don't have film or tv stuff happening, I still have a reason to leave the house.  It will also alleviate the money stress a lot, since when I don't have film stuff happening I've been falling back on UE income, which I'm almost out of (since I didn't live in NY originally when I applied for it, and applied as an out of state worker, I'm not eligible for most of the extensions).  This has been really stressing me out. I HATE that I'm 26 and don't have a reliable source of income, can't afford to go out, can't buy myself the occasional treat, and am just generally broke and discouraged.

I've been applying religiously to jobs, but I think that I need to switch things up. Just find some kind of income producing job. It doesn't mean I give up or that I can't still try to find the perfect  job, but if I have to waitress somewhere for a few months it's not the end of the world. It does feel a bit like failure, but I know I need to do it.

That being said, I've actually tried to get waitressing jobs before (though I could probably try harder).  It's not actually that easy right now either. The recession has hit the restaurant industry hard, but I really don't want to work retail - I'm horrible at earning commission and those jobs pay terribly.  I don't know that I could even make my bills on a retail job salary.  Not that those jobs are falling out of trees either. Catering is great, but really unreliable and even working for (now) three companies, I only get a couple days a month usually.

So basically, I'm at a point where even getting a restaurant job is seeming like an insurmountable challenge.

So I'm in a rut. Now I just need to find a way out.

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